Her eyes glistened like the stars.
It's a cliche, but then all love begins the same.
So I'll say it again: her eyes glistened like the stars.
Her hair like water flowed, rippling waterfalls down her body,
Made more beautiful by the rain of her allergen-inspired tears.
She always hated being outside.
But the sun bathed her in the light that made me watch her.
And the frown of discomfort sitting on her chin
Did nothing but give me a stupid smile-- she always made me grin.
Because...she was the world I lost myself in,
Complete with all the waters and the rolling landscape
That makes Earth such an interesting, beautiful place to live.
And always, as I lay down in the world, the constellations in her eyes.
Always there, Hera, the Queen of Heaven.
I think in those times, Paris could have chosen more wisely.
For love was never flawless, where Aphrodite simply was.
He could have picked Hera. Hera I saw, she was the Spirit in my girl.
And I loved her, for her jealousy when I stared at other girls,
And for the insecurity by which she would doll herself up--
To keep me in the snare I chose to stay in regardless of beauty.
That was her outside, while within she gave way softly,
In a feigned weakness, knowing full well who of us was stronger.
With this established, we danced the dance of Immortals.













Comments
on the contrary, sir, i think its extraordinarily lovely. the ending is so not choppy. its perfection. and at first when i read it i also thought the guy seemed shallow, and was about to be all 'oh no you didnt!'. but i read it again and sometimes it seems to me that when hes describing something that seems to be physical beauty, ie 'the constellations in her eyes', it could really mean much more. he IS very interested in beauty, but he's not completely only into the exteriors of things. and i think thats okay.
one tiny complaint? 'Did nothing but give me a stupid smile-- she always made me grin.' it just bothers me for some reason, especially the word grin. i just dont think it fits in with the rest. but its a smaaaaall complaint, so feel free to ignore me.
and also, the title made me smile and laugh, but the poem is really quite beautiful, and i think, come on, you should change the title to reflect that.
but really, zacish, its very good, and you should definitely show it to the poetry club. *whines* why doesnt my school have a poetry cluuuub?
--
The bridge is burning and I still don't know which way I want to go.
WTF ART KIDS!
I'm glad you find this uplifting though. ^_^
--
--SirNaelyan
This one actually was going to be dedicated to you, but I wasn't sure if that would be insulting or not given the interest in physical beauty, in what seemed to be a shallow way...I'm glad you don't think so though. So this is dedicated to you then. ^_^
And I'll actually take what you said into consideration, because I had the same complaint...
--
--SirNaelyan
--
website: [link]
&& want to break down && cry..
it's so perfectly delicate..
like a piece of lace drifting the breeze..
it also makes me think of my ex-boyfriend//ex-best friend..
who I pushed away because I was getting more && more insecure..
I don't know why.. he's like the best boyfriend ever.. [what other guy would stand in town for an extra hour && a half because you're late.. even when it's chucking it down with rain..]
Mneh..
I'm fav-ing this..
&& will probably return to read it again && again..
this work.. is priceless <3 xxx
--
cor. ;]
on another note. im thinking its about time i got a normal id with the whole picture thing going on.
--
The bridge is burning and I still don't know which way I want to go.
WTF ART KIDS!
I slack off on my homework assignments, btw...
--
--SirNaelyan
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